For the Love of Sugar: Wedding Cake Tasting

Not to sound dramatic, but your wedding day is nothing without a good cake. The cake shouldn’t be prettier than your dress, but at that reception when the cake gets delivered, everyone’s eyes will be on it. Everyone will be secretly fantasizing about the cake, because who doesn’t like wedding cakes? If you’ve ever been to a wedding, I dare say you’ve fantasized about that cake too – the frosting melting in your mouth, the sweet, sweet, spongy, cakey layers… oh, yeah. You know what I’m talking about.

Your cake will basically embody the character of your wedding – more than the flower arrangements, or the design of the wedding invitations, or the main course. Your wedding cake will be the second thing your special day will be remembered by. The first is, of course, your beautiful dress. This is why it’s so important to choose your wedding cake wisely (but also have fun while doing it!)

So, let’s talk about cake tasting. The process itself sounds like a dream, but it can be quite overwhelming if you go unprepared. What do these preparations entail? Well, have a light breakfast, for starters, haha. But also, think about what flavors you’ve always liked. You don’t want to try something new entirely, if you’re not sure you’ll like it later. This way you won’t be overwhelmed with too many options, you’ll know what to look for straight away.

It’s also a good idea to look for flavors that are more conventional, rather than too specific, exotic, or unusual, if you know that your guests aren’t that adventurous. Just think of a safe-choice kind of cake you’d make for a dinner party, for example. You’ll have a lot of opportunities to do that, actually, with all the new and cool appliances like a mandolin slicer you’re going to get for wedding gifts, trust me!

For example, despite its bold color, everyone likes red velvet cake. It’s truly delicious. Carrot cake is another favorite among the crowd, and, while chocolate cake might seem boring, you’ll find that chocolate flavor is actually never boring, which is why it has been a favorite for centuries!

But you can go with something fancier, with a little bit of an edge, but still on the conventional side, like, almond cake with lemon, or vanilla almond cake with buttercream filling. The possibilities are endless, just figure out what types of flavors you like, grab a few friends, and start tasting! Yum!

Unique Ring Bearer and Flower Girl Ideas

I believe in expediting a wedding in a unique way. That is what brides want right now. They want to be different. They want a dream wedding like no other—one of a kind. That seems to be important to most. No cookie cutter experience they say. We all know that when you take chances with the basics, things can go wrong. On the other hand, it can be the most memorable day of your life. So let me innovate for you and let’s see some surprises so people will talk about your wedding for days after. One new gimmick that has been fun for my clients is to get the ring bearer and flower girl down the ideal with grace and ease. Some kids wander off or stumble, giving shivers to the wedding planner every time. These kids are just so young—about age three. They are carrying flowers or a pillow with a ring on it and things can go wrong.

What to do for a fool-proof event? Practicing ahead of time helps. Not giving the children items that are too big for them also is wise. Give them their items just before they step down the aisle so they don’t have time to drop them. Now for a bit of humor, I also have used small tricycles to carry the ring bearer swiftly down the aisle so he doesn’t tarry. It is so darn cute in any case. You can decorate the little bike with small flowers and ribbons. You aim the kid as you place him on the trike and down the aisle the goes to everyone’s delight. If your ring bearer is a bit too frisky to control, you can put the flower girl on the best bike for a 3 year old that we could find with a net basket attached to the back so that petals will drop out as she progresses. Girls that age tend to be more coordinated than boys so this may be your first choice.

Wow! What a cute ride to the altar. This hopefully won’t detract from the bride herself. Unlikely, but it may be some competition for guests’ attention. People will appreciate the creativity shown with the traditional rituals and will beam smiles at the young wedding party attendants. Who knew a bike would have a place in the church! It is better than mom or dad lifting the ring bearer or flower girl who has gone astray. No, this is a far better idea. Kids take to bikes and will be willing to do whatever you want. Just set them in the right direction. Then the designated rider can take the bike hope as a bridal gift, complete with decorations. It is sure to make for some adorable wedding party photos. I have samples on my website so you can see what I have in mind. You will see a variety of wedding colors and floral choices.

Fun with Registries

Look at any wedding registry and you will see the same items every time. There are sets of china and silver and an assortment of serving platters, napkins and tablecloths, toasters, portable ovens, and coffeemakers. You will find an oddity from time to time like luggage, but mostly it is practical stuff with which you can cook and serve a meal. A bride wants fabulous cookware that she herself can’t afford and she would adore getting silver trays and crystal decanters. All kinds of decorative objects for the house are on registries. It is up to the bride to be comprehensive and clever to get what she needs. If you have a lot of friends, your list will diminish. If you don’t, keep it sparse so you will get the top items.

I know some brides who crave artwork, knickknacks like ceramic figurines, and even cookbooks. The wedding guest will have a lot of choice in this case. They usually pick applying their own personal taste. Composing a good registry is a challenge and a requirement. If a bride has a fun and frivolous spirit, she can pad the list with ridiculous but desirable objects for vacation like a 2 person towable tube. You might as well put the boat on your list. Ha! Just kidding. Likely a bride who owns a boat would want a tube to attach to it for water recreation. No doubt a kindred spirit would select this item as a gift that would be meaningful. It would signal that the person understands the bride deep down inside and knows that she prefers fun to cooking and serving. Not everyone wants a 12-piece set of china that she will rarely use. As for silver, it is passé. People use stainless steel or silver plate that you don’t have to polish incessantly. This kind of bride wants to get real. What will I enjoy for years to come? You can always buy dishes, etc. later on after you have been married a while. You might want to go on your honeymoon to the shore, so the inflatable tube will be right along with you. Okay, it is not exactly practical like most things on a registry, but it has its merits—a lot of them for some people.

I know one bride who had a reputation for adventure. She was a hiker, a daredevil, and a free spirit. It did not surprise people that she included an inflatable tube on her registry list. They were slightly amused but not aghast. So indeed someone bought the tube right out of the box to her great glee. She spent more time planning the water recreation vacation honeymoon than she did the wedding. She had a van to tote the tube and her husband was quite in sync. He liked to ride as much as she did and he took care of the boat rental. The wedding album included photos of them on the water. What else would you expect?

Destination Wedding Activities

Everyone wants a wedding like no other in a place that is unique, scenic, and picturesque. No run of the mill ceremony or reception. It is a once in a lifetime event. You don’t have to search long and hard as there are so many wonderful places to have a destination wedding. You can rent just about any kind of resort or hotel ball room, someone’s private home with a garden, a mountain retreat or even a beach venue. Each option has its benefits and attractions. It just takes some imagination and planning. A good wedding planner will put everything in place to your perfect satisfaction once you have made your needs known. It is always a custom event and it has to reflect the couple’s personality and what kind of experience they hope for their guests. It has to be a day like no other documented with ample photographs.

At a destination wedding, it is advisable to provide activities to keep your guests busy so they don’t spend all their time at the hotel bar. This is especially true if you have planned a day of socializing before the ceremony. People have a tendency to congregate when they could be having group fun. Take a beach wedding, for example. You want them to participate in team sports and some fun beach games you have set up for their amusement. This way people can meet and mingle. You know the deal. People often encounter the love of their life at a wedding. After all, there are plenty of singles your age looking for a connection. If you have events for them to keep them preoccupied and in touch, you may be instigating a romance or two right in the midst of the actual wedding.

Beach volleyball is a greater mixer. You just have to tell people to bring appropriate attire. Everyone loves it and it can be for men and women. Just start with a few volunteers. Those who want to lay around under the beach umbrella can toss a few inflated balls or build sand castles. Maybe offer a prize for the best one. People like to play card or board games if they are reclining in chairs. Others will walk under the delightful rays of the burning sun. People will find their own way if you provide plenty of options. Just swimming is enough to keep most happy on a very hot day.

Many couples who engage beach venues like to have the ceremony by the water on the sand. People can stay in swimsuits and cover-ups or change to finer attire. If you are at the beach, there are certain assumptions. It is going to be casual. The reception can be right there nearby with tables of simple food covered by colorful umbrellas. Tropical drinks can be passed while they eat. The kind with little umbrellas. Decorations go with the territory. Paper plates strewn with shells accompany beach pails laden with flowers. All in all, it is youthful and amusing. Everyone is bound to have fun.

Cool Nights, Warm Guests

One thing many brides-to-be overlook is temperature, which is unfortunate because it can be a huge factor in the comfort of your guests. Think about the attire you are asking your guests to wear. If it’s hot and the men at your wedding are required to wear suits and ties, they might fall over from the heat. If you’ve asked the women to wear cocktail dresses on a night that suddenly turns cool, there will be many regrets over bare calves and sleeveless dresses. I strongly advise you to take stock of your guests’ comfort in this regard.

For an outdoor wedding, this seems pretty straightforward: you need to protect your guests from the elements. You likely are aware that you can put up a tent to block the sun, wind, or rain from interfering with your guests’ enjoyment of the festivities. But there are always other details to consider. Take a good look at your menu, including your plans for the cake, if it will be outside. Choose things that are OK to sit in warmer temperatures, foods that won’t congeal or make your guests ill. It doesn’t matter how beautiful your wedding was if you give your guests food poisoning. People tend to remember being poisoned. Fans can add some relief in both indoor (if your venue lacks central air) and outdoor situations, but they can’t be too strong or they can cause hair and wardrobe malfunctions. If your wedding is indoors and you are afraid the room will get too hot, find out what they normally keep the thermostat set to. They might overcompensate for the heat and the room might be quite cold. You may want to advise female guests to bring a shawl or wrap, or possibly negotiate a different temperature for the room. For a signature drink, I recommend something tropical or fruity, served over ice. It will get your guests thinking cool thoughts!

But what about if your wedding is scheduled for late fall or winter, or if you happen to catch an unseasonably cool night? If your outdoor wedding starts to look like a scene from Frozen, you can add heating lamps to your outdoor décor to help thaw everyone out. Be sure to ask the venue if they have heaters or if it is something you might need to rent. If you are renting chairs, tables, or tents, the same company may be able to provide heating units. If your wedding is indoors, again, it is good to find out how high the heat setting will be. After all, you don’t want your guests to overheat when they are dancing. Also, if you are having your wedding at an older or atypical venue, you may want to check your location out for drafts and the like. You don’t want an icy draft to cause your dear great aunt to complain that she was sitting in the arctic tundra when you meant for her to be sitting at a table of honor. Personally, I like to place bathroom heaters in both the mens’ and womens’ rooms for winter weddings. A small space heater will warm the place up to a comfortable level and be a nice respite from cold weather or chilly ballrooms. Mine warms the tile nicely, making a toasty treat for all the women who switch out of uncomfortable shoes and into flip flops for the reception. Remember, even if you’re inside, people get chilly. I find a small space heater designed for bathrooms can actually end up a gathering place for guests. It can also be a good prep area for the bride when she needs a touch up. They are much better and safer than using the bathroom hand drier. I also like hot beverages, like a hot toddy or a butterscotch Schnapps hot chocolate, as a signature drink for chilly days.

Hope this was of some help!

One of my All-Time Best Planner Secrets

I don’t like to give away all my wedding planner secrets, but sometimes you just gotta crow. It makes me feel good. There are all kinds of tips and tricks of the trade to make the big day go smoother for all involved. As there can be a great deal of stress in planning a wedding, you have to have mental and physical stamina for the job. Some tips pertain to the venue, and others to the bride and groom. There are literally thousands of details to remember, and any shortcuts are welcome. If you can’t get it all done before the wedding, then it will be doomed to failure.

One area that is often the bane of my existence are the flowers. They can make or break the ambience. You have to have the right quantity and the right color scheme to please the happy couple. In addition, if they are delivered too early or are not fresh, they will wilt. If the climate is not humid, but is excessively dry, this will add to the problem. I have to do whatever I can at the last minute to salvage a dried up crop. This means thinking in advance and anticipating problems.

For example, I keep a large portable cool-mist humidifier in my van for certain occasions when the flowers are just not up to par. This has happened more than once. I don’t like toting this unwieldy monster, but believe me it does the job. The water tank is 3 gallons which can cover a fairly decent size room or reception hall in the wedding venue. It can be used before the flowers are installed or after. (Just don’t forget to remove it before the ceremony.) More than one wedding reception has been saved as a result.

A little steam or mist goes a long way toward restoring flowers to their optimal appearance. It is liquid food for their souls. You don’t even have to leave the humidifier on that long to see results. Be mindful, however, that the bride and bridesmaids may sneak over to the unit to get a dewy, glowing look. Dry skin on wedding day is not a healthy sign! In the meantime, the humidifier is pretty quiet while it operates and you almost don’t know it is there.

What you want is a console model that offers a moisture-rich environment on the spot. Mine uses the evaporative method and it makes for a pleasant atmosphere. It can run continuously for an entire day on one tank of water. I have an adjustable humidistat that automatically turns the humidifier on and off at a preset level. It is really a no brainer. These devices are easy to fill, safe, and only need an occasional filter replacement. You don’t have to have dried up flowers to appreciate their work. People with asthma, colds and coughs, and certain health conditions swear by them in their homes. I might just have need for my humidifier on non-wedding days.

Must-Have Registry Item: Wine Glasses

It doesn’t have to be Saint Louis or Baccarat. It doesn’t have to come from France or Germany. It could, but then you would be taxing your wedding guests’ budgets. When placing wine glasses on your register, you need to go middle grade. You want something that is more than every day, but also that won’t break the bank. Speaking of breakage, there is nothing worse than shattering a $300 wine glass. So be sensible and select accordingly. You will be happy in the long run.

There are many fine brands that boast of a range of crystal from wine to water glasses and barware. Williams Sonoma for one online site has a nice assortment to please any and all tastes. People know the company and find it easy to work with the bridal registry. They can select your gift with relative ease. The same is true for Crate & Barrel. I, myself, recommend going with the obvious so people don’t have to search very hard or worry about credit card security. Yes, that issue is still of major concern.

China and wine glasses, not to mention silver place settings, are the main items on any wedding must have list. Linens, including sheets and towels, are important but less fun to buy. Know, as the bride, that Invitees of your big day like to pick something classy and showy budget permitting: hence the top choices given. Kitchen gadgets are low on the list but can be bought in bulk to add up to a nice “gift basket.” You can include as many as you can think of. So unless all your desired gifts are taken, you hope your guests will go for the most grand.

Getting back to choosing the best wine glasses for your wedding, and you will certainly need them, the bride and groom must select a style that complements their chosen china. It has to be either modern or old-fashioned to be a true match. I don’t like to see a couple select a plain modern plate like Wedgewood white and then a faceted ornamental glass that looks like is was on the table in Beauty and the Beast. This is the same for the silver pattern. Hopefully you will inherit some, if not a set, from grandma; but if not, it can run up in the hundreds for just one place setting, in spite of the fact that silver prices are down. Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with stainless steel. People are getting more practical and modern all the time, and no one likes polishing.

As far as registries go, brides should give their guests a variety of options in all price ranges. Relatives give money, but people still enjoy the idea that you will get a wrapped and delivered gift from them. They know that their taste is reflected in their choice. It is not supposed to be about money, but thoughtfulness and an understanding of typical newlywed needs. Wine glasses have always been one of the best gifts in terms of appropriateness, price, and quality. A gift of four or more says that your guest has clearly understood.

Inside My Wedding Day Bag of Tricks: a Stapler

Weddings cost as much as a down payment on a house these days. We are talking $30,000 to $50,000 and more. Who started this trend? No matter. It is on the upswing. You have to outdo the last one you attended no matter the cost. You have to up the ante with a novel venue, an amazingly creative cake, and super lavish flowers. Your reception hall should be off a lovely garden complete with fountain or pond with swans. As such, weddings are status symbols more than ceremonies and celebrations. So what is a budget conscious gal to do?

For one thing, you can do your own decorations with a little leg work and research. You can buy a variety of things as basic supplies and get ideas in magazines or online. You don’t have to go overboard as a few elegant flourishes will do. Select a color scheme for the event and the dominant table fabric such as net or satin. You want things to match. Then work around this palette with strategically placed details. The idea is to make sure the decorations are secure after they have been assembled and put in place. You wouldn’t want the embarrassment of anything falling down. You don’t want to overdo either, so that your installations are permanent fixtures and are impossible to take down.

One trick of the trade is to use a basic staple gun – electric or manual. You can install floral garlands and ribbons in a flash. You can populate a white trellis backdrop with fancy flowers or decorate around doors and windows. You can also repair anything that seems to be dangling precariously. You can also affix accessories to your table centerpieces such as miniature brides and grooms or wedding bells. A staple gun is your tool of choice for most wedding adornment. You could even use it to repair a ribbed bridesmaid’s hem! (Use only the tiniest staples please with a miniature device.)

A great part of the appeal of a wedding reception is the appearance of the venue. During daylight hours, you have scenic views to create ambience; but at night, you must rely on your ingenuity. The drabbest room can become exquisite with closed drapes, proper lighting, centerpieces, and random decorative accents. A good rule of thumb is to be consistent and not do things in a haphazard manner. Once you have a theme, stick with it top to bottom. Bridesmaid’s dresses and the bride’s bouquet are often aligned with these decorations as well. There is nothing worse than the makeshift look of borrowed items that hardly mix and match. Going cheaper does not mean looking cheap.

Thus, there is some outlay of funds required to do a beautiful job for a wedding reception, but using your own skills and those of your family and friends will keep the budget under control. You will save enormous amounts of money by not hiring a professional service for an exorbitant fee. You can apply your savings to the food and entertainment where it is difficult to “do it yourself.” My advice: start looking for bargain staplers now!

You and Your Wedding Planner

Some people have great experiences with their wedding planners. Other people may feel as if their wedding planners have become additional annoying relatives by the end of the wedding. Of course, plenty of wedding planners are going to feel the same way. Some wedding planners take their jobs and everything about their jobs way too seriously, making you feel like you’re scheduling a surgery instead of a wedding. Other wedding planners are so laid-back that you wonder whether or not they’re even going to get the job done. Sometimes, the quality of a wedding or lack thereof can be traced to the wedding planner.

It’s important to find a wedding planner that you click with in one way or another. Plenty of competent wedding planners just don’t bond with their clients for whatever reason. They may have very different tastes, or very different personalities. In some cases, you’re better off trying to interview an assortment of different wedding planners in order to find a good match for you, taking into account your specific plans for your wedding.

It’s easy to research wedding planners these days. All of the wedding planners that you could possibly find are going to have their own websites. Lots of them will probably have their own social media profiles. It should be easy to get a sense of their personality on the basis of how they interact with people on social media in many cases. That may not tell you the whole story, but it will at least give you an idea of what to expect.

Of course, the real story for anyone in business in the twenty-first century is going to be in the customer reviews that they attract. If you’re looking for a great wedding planner, the first thing you should try to find are customer reviews. Any great wedding planner will attract lots of customer reviews, and they will usually run the gamut. You shouldn’t worry about finding a few negative reviews, especially if there are dozens or hundreds of them. In fact, the presence of negative reviews in that situation should be seen as something of a positive sign.

If there are only a few reviews, and the majority of them are vague or brief, you should take that as a bad sign. Anyone can post customer reviews like these, and they don’t necessarily have to be real. There is no governing body that will ensure that you get honest reviews, especially since falsely flattering reviews are so cheap these days. However, if you see a full range of reviews and many of them are both positive and detailed, you’ve probably at least run into an objectively good wedding planner. That doesn’t mean that he or she is going to be the right wedding planner for you, but it does mean that you have a good chance.

At that point, you should try to set aside time to actually interview wedding planners. It may seem like a big and unnecessary step, but trust me, big and seemingly unnecessary steps are a huge part of planning a wedding in the first place. You’ll save yourself a lot of aggravation and frustration by making sure you get the right wedding planner to begin with, or this one little annoying chore of an interview is going to be replaced by a long list of annoying chores that can damage the whole wedding ceremony.

At the end of the day though, I do think people should go easy on their wedding planners. Their wedding planners are doing a million things at once and working under extreme pressure. If you’re a wedding planner, you are literally planning an occasion that the other person thinks is going to be the best day of his or her life. Even if your particular client isn’t saying that or thinking that, you don’t always know that, and that is the cultural expectation. There are so many little details to square away before the actual day that it can be overwhelming for the wedding planner. They often have to appease relatives, caterers, deejays, and an assortment of other people all at once, and they’ll be fending off suggestions from everyone.

If it makes you feel better once you’ve had some sort of quarrel with your wedding planner, he or she probably still had at least as bad of a time as you did, if not worse. At least when your wedding is out of the way, you can move on with your life. Your poor wedding planner is going to have to do this over and over again for years to come. Yes, he or she chose this and yes it’s a living, but it’s fun to think about if you end up in any conflict with anyone as a result.

The Aftermath

cI couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to blink twice. I was watching a popular show on cable TV about a wedding. It was so lovely. The outdoor setting was gorgeous with grand views into the distance. The tables were set elegantly with flowers and candles and the bride was a vision in lacy white. (The groom wasn’t bad either.) The program was of the reality kind and showed the next day – the aftermath. It is supposed to be like the afterglow of a symphony. But no, it was not. There was litter everywhere. You would have needed a cordless vacuum (like this) to whisk it all away. Where did all this stuff come from anyway? The champagne and wine bottles I could understand, but the rest was a mystery to me.

In any case, it was a veritable pigsty. What a reversal of fortune! Once folded pristine white napkins were strewn on the ground stained with red lipstick and wine. Candy wrappers and cigarette butts were everywhere to be found, squished into submission. Some odds and ends entered the mix – a surprising olio of combs, lost earrings, hair bows, and a hankie or two. Okay, I said to myself. This is major work for the cleanup crew.

All of a sudden on my TV screen appeared the sleepy-eyed bride and groom, dressed in cutoffs and T-shirts with two friends in tow, similarly attired. What? I gasped. The voice over narration said that the couple paid for the wedding and could save money by doing the cleanup themselves. What! Are you serious?

Yes, this is fact. The story is true. The beautiful bride is a waitress at a local restaurant in West Hollywood, California and has limited funds. Remember the rule: the bride pays for the wedding! The reality show followed each “cast member,” a real person, through the comings and goings of ordinary life. This young woman just happened to have a wedding – great ratings for the show. People had been following her dating and subsequent engagement. Now it had all come to roost.

In any case, there they were scooping up junk and stuffing it into plastic bags which they tied with twine and tossed in a huge trash bin at the side of the resort that hosted the nuptials. Agh! Her elegance had all but been stripped away. She was still a pretty girl, no doubt of that, but it was sure a letdown after the wedding. Is this destined to be a new trend? I hope not. Is do-it-yourself clean up the new normal? I hope not.

The show ended with everyone changing clothes and hugs and the couple was off on their honeymoon. I’m not sure they mentioned the destination, but I do hope they didn’t negotiate a room discount for changing their own beds! Who wants to scrub tub while on holiday? I do hope the savings they earned after the wedding were applied to the honeymoon and that they could avoid manual labor of the worst kind.

The Perfect Day is After the Wedding

after wedding

You’ll hear all the time about how your wedding is the happiest day of your life. I hear people saying that all the time. When they’re asked about the happiest days of their lives, people will inevitably refer to their weddings if they’re married. Maybe some people might talk about the birth of their children if they have kids. I guess really young people might talk about the day they graduated high school or college or the day that they got their drivers’ licenses. All I can say is, I really hope your wedding isn’t going to be the best day of your life, because that may well say nothing positive about your life.

Your wedding is going to be a hassle. It’s probably the biggest day that you’re ever going to plan. How often do you hire caterers, priests, deejays, and wait staff and try to get them all in the same room together at some point? It feels like the setup for a bad joke, and that’s often the way that it is if the wedding doesn’t go well. In addition to all these different folks from really different industries, you have to get all of your friends and relatives in a room together too. That’s a lot of opportunities for crazy occurrences and mishaps.

Even if your wedding day goes completely smoothly, getting there is going to be the hard part. You may end up spending months in preparation for it, and then, it will be over in one day. It’s like a horse race, only there’s hopefully no gambling involved. Usually, by the time the day is actually almost there, you’re going to feel exhausted by the whole thing, and it will be just another time-consuming event to get out of the way.

The thing is, in many ways, that situation is even better. The fact that you’re going to be that relieved to get the wedding out of the way means that the day after the wedding is really going to be the happiest day of your life. You’re married to your beloved at last. The two of you have publicly declared your love for one another. You survived an encounter with all of your relatives and everyone else. Now, you can enjoy wedded bliss and the rest of the honeymoon. In addition to all of that, you can be relieved that the wedding is over and it only happens once.

This may sound like a negative take, but it’s more positive than it sounds. Do you really want the best part of your marriage to be the first day? That’s over before you know it. Really, the best part of your marriage doesn’t even have to be the second day. The best part of any marriage is going to be different for everyone. The thing is, knowing that your wedding doesn’t have to be the best day of your life should let you off the hook a little.

If you didn’t really enjoy your wedding all that much, it doesn’t mean that you did it wrong or that you’re doing it wrong. It also doesn’t mean that anything bad is going to happen to your marriage, or that your marriage is automatically going to get off on the wrong foot. Lots of happy marriages didn’t spring from happy weddings. There are also plenty of marriages in which it was pretty much all downhill from there after the wedding, and who wants that? Even if your wedding didn’t go well, your marriage can still be fantastic. You’ll have countless days to get that right, and only one day to get your wedding right.

Elope If It’s Right for You

Lots of people wrestle over whether or not to elope. Eloping was once considered scandalous, at least if you were upper class and a lot was riding on your marriage. Today, marriage is more of an emotional bond as opposed to a political contract. Elopement is definitely going to work better for some people.

Maybe you want to elope because you’re interested in a straightforward marriage ceremony. Maybe you want to elope because you don’t like the thought of a big wedding. In that case, I say go for it. You don’t owe anyone a big wedding, even if they say you do.

If you want to elope because you’re trying to avoid having to deal with your in-laws, that’s understandable. Obviously, it’s going to depend on the situation a lot. However, I’m still going to say that you should usually go with it. It’s your marriage, not theirs. If they’re going to ruin the wedding, you should stop them. They might be upset about it, but it’s possible that they’d be upset anyway. If it’s just a matter of choosing what they’re going to be upset about, then I still think you should make your wedding your own.

Obviously, you know your in-laws better than I do, and you know your situation. Sometimes placating them for one day is the right way to go, and sometimes you’re better off trying to slip beneath their notice. Everyone’s in-laws are different, and we weren’t all blessed with loving and understanding ones.

You may have the sort of in-laws that are going to give you embarrassing memories that you’ll have to live with for years, in which case, you’re better off eloping for the sake of your wedding album alone. If you have loving in-laws, you may regret it if you elope. However, your loving in-laws will want you to follow your bliss, which may not include a big and traditional wedding.

On the plus side, your in-laws will probably help you out more financially if you do decide to go with a traditional marriage. On the other hand, if you elope, you may not even need the help in the first place. Everything is a cost and benefit analysis, and I say weigh the pros and cons in favor of elopement.

 

You Can Have Whatever Weird Wedding You Want

weird-weddings

You may think that your idea for a wedding is weird. Chances are, it really won’t be all that weird compared to what a lot of other people have come up with over the years. If you really want to have a Star Trek wedding, for instance, you should know that people have been literally doing that for generations now. You’re not alone. Really, Star Trek weddings have become traditional in their own right now, since they’ve been going on for so long.

If you want to play video game theme music during your wedding reception, I say go for it. Some of your guests aren’t even going to recognize it for what it is, since it may be a little before or after their time, depending on the person. If any of your guests do manage to recognize the music, chances are, they’ll actually be cool with it. Video games are cool now, and so is Star Trek. So what’s wrong with having a little of both at your wedding?

Some people like to go traditional when it comes to their weddings, and that’s perfectly fine. Not everyone is going to want to put a different spin on weddings. There’s no pressure. Weddings don’t have to be original, and really, no one is completely original when it comes to romance. The important thing is that weddings are good. Traditional weddings can certainly fall into that category if that’s what you want. Still, this is your day and your new spouse’s day, and you don’t have to let the people of the past influence your decision just because their wedding setup worked so well for them.

Are Bridezillas Real?

The question of whether or not maniacal brides are real is actually a very good one. Yes, many people swear by their existence like it’s a law of the universe, but their presence is certainly exaggerated in popular culture. The ladies on that Bridezilla reality show were paid to act like that, and the atrocious movie Bride Wars was by no means a documentary. Cat-fights in the aisle at a wedding do not occur in nature.

However, there are definitely women who go a little nuts when it comes to their weddings. This is kind of understandable when you consider that lots of women have been more or less raised to believe that this is supposed to be the one day in which you get to be a princess, at least apart from the prom. If you miss out on your one day to be a princess, it can be a real let-down. There’s also the fact that lots of women have been led to believe that it takes a great wedding to make for a happy marriage. A bad wedding, in marriage lore, is only going to lead to a bad marriage down the line.

If we want to cure Bridezilla tendencies, we’re going to have to go down to the basics. We’ll have to work together as a society to try to fix them, because the sufferers of this syndrome cannot be cured on their own. We’ll have to get together and make it clear that weddings are important, but they’re not the most important thing in the world. Rain on your wedding day doesn’t mean your marriage is headed for Seattle, so to speak, and Seattle is kind of a nice place.

You can be a princess every single day if you want, and you don’t have to save everything for this single day on any level. Your marriage and the love that it represents is what is going to count. The wedding, as fun and exciting as it is, is ultimately just a party. It should be a great party, but it isn’t the party to end all parties, at least not in a bad way.

Curing Bridezilla syndrome is going to take time. The roots are deep in the wedding industry and in our culture. However, it can be done. In the days when your parents just planned your whole wedding for you anyway, this was barely even a disease. It can go back to being dormant again.